KARIJERA I MAJČINSTVO

                                                          KARIJERA I MAJČINSTVO

Žena želi karijeru.

Žena želi biti majka.

Majka želi karijeru.

Žena i majka žele karijeru i majčinstvo.

Ti želiš sve?

Završila žena školu i postala majkom. Završila žena školu i razvila karijeru. Žena koja je prvotno postala majkom teži za karijerom. Žena koja je razvila karijeru teži za majčinstvom.

Žena ne mora željeti biti majkom. I to je apsolutno u redu. Žena može željeti biti majkom i to je apsolutno u redu. Žena može željeti oboje i to je apsolutno u redu.

Činjenica je da živimo u društvu u kojem su se žene izborile za pravo da imaju sve. Ali pritom ako imaju samo karijeru, samo su majke ili imaju oboje nisu dovoljno dobre, nisu dovoljno uspješne.

To je ludilo kojem nema kraja, popraćeno osjećajem nezadovoljstva, krivnje ili izgubljenosti.

Ako imamo samo karijeru želimo da smo dosegnule njezin vrhunac, ako imamo samo djecu želimo da su ta djeca savršena kao i naš dom, ako imamo oboje trgamo se između da oboje bude savršeno. 

A gdje smo mi same? Gdje si ti? 

Ne, to pitanje je apsolutno pogrešno i nema apsolutno nikakve veze sa ženama!

Ali ajmo ovako... Koliko puta ste čuli ili pročitali termin " Karijera i majčinstvo "? Toliko puta da nitko više ne broji. To je postala problematika i terminologija o kojoj se stalno priča, piše i sluša i svako malo izlaze "savjeti i rješenja" za taj problem.

Ali nanovo svaka generacija opet ima isti problem!

I da, postoji razlog za to. I ne, nije ubrzani ritam života. Nije se ubrzalo ništa. Vrijeme normalno prolazi po našem brojčanom shvaćanju.

Razlog je balans. Ako pred sebe stavimo vagu i na jednu stranu natrpamo predmete ona će se spustiti na tome mjestu jer joj je suprotna strana prazna. Dakle, ako je na jednoj strani vage -Karijera i majčinstvo, što nedostaje na drugoj strani?

Karijera i očinstvo.

I ovo je trenutak kada si žene malo zamisle i udahnu i izdahnu...

Ako izuzmemo stanje u kojem oca nema jer je preminuo tada tražimo balans da nam je na suprotnoj strani vage neka druga odrasla živuća osoba. U protivnom pričamo o nadnaravnoj ženi/muškarcu .

Karijera i Očinstvo

O kakvoj gluposti sada pišem? Zašto bi se otac trebao uopće brinuti o svojoj djeci? Pa ima ženu! Mamu! Sestru! Neka bira...

Upravo je to povijesni problem do danas. Prvo pojedinci, pa grupa ,pa cijelo društvo koje je u potpunosti  zanemarilo taj aspekt.

Za to krivi su i muškarac i žena.

Žena rodi dijete, postavi si ga u prvi plan, udalji muškarca od obaveza oko djeteta na način da sebe okupira oko svega ili muškarcu dozvoli one jednostavne zadatke ali nikako ne one ozbiljnije kao školstvo, zadaće, odlazak k liječniku , odijevanje itd. Tendencija žena je da nagomilaju previše obaveza na same sebe ,a poslije se žale da im je previše ili se razbole. Nemaju vremena za sebe i stvara se nezadovoljstvo koje vodi u druge probleme.

Muškarac nije rodio dijete i smatra da je žena po biologiji u prednosti od njega. Automatski se udaljava mikroskopskim koracima kojih nije isprva niti svjestan. Muškarac se ne obrati ženi da i on želi svoje puno pravo da bude sa svojim djetetom , već se žrtvuje/spasi što ode na posao kao da ništa nema novoga kod kuće. Uvjerava sebe i druge da je novčana zarada s njegove strane njegov doprinos djetetu. Na taj način s izgovorom kako je ubijen od posla ne provodi vrijeme sa svojim djetetom već mu slatko odgovori : "Pitaj mamu".

Ne postoji karijera i majčinstvo niti karijera i očinstvo u smislu kako se prikazuje u svijetu. Postoji samo dogovor. 

Partneri trebaju prije rođenja djeteta sjesti i napraviti detaljan plan kako će postupati u idućih 20 godina života , a ne da se stvari odvijaju same od sebe bez da partneri iskomuniciraju cijelu stvar. Jer dijete nije predmet niti hobi, ono je živo biće. Jednako kao što su to i njegovi roditelji . A oba roditelja zaslužuju osobni rast uz svoje dijete bez da jedan prebacuje obaveze na drugoga. Kada dođe do toga i jedan partner optereti drugoga da sebi olakša , dobijemo termine kao što su Karijera i majčinstvo/ Karijera i očinstvo.

Zbog toga jedini ispravni termin je Roditeljstvo i karijera.

Stoga bio ti muškarac ili žena i nemaš balans, znači da nemaš dobar dogovor.

Tada nisi u pravednom partnerstvu.

Stoga sjedni i mirno razgovaraj s partnerom. Tada ćeš znati na čemu si. Korake koje ćeš poduzeti su samo na tebi. S tim odlukama onda nastavljaš svoj život.

PS. Slobodno neka i partner pročita blog.😉

                                    CAREER AND MOTHERHOOD

A woman wants a career.

A woman wants to be a mother.

A mother wants a career.

A woman and a mother want a career and motherhood.

Do you want everything?

A woman finishes school and becomes a mother. A woman finishes school and develops a career. A woman who initially becomes a mother strives for a career. A woman who develops a career strives for motherhood.

A woman does not have to want to be a mother. And that is absolutely fine. A woman can want to be a mother and that is absolutely fine. A woman can want both and that is absolutely fine.

The fact is that we live in a society in which women have fought for the right to have everything. But at the same time, if they only have a career, they are only mothers or they have both, they are not good enough, they are not successful enough.

It is madness that has no end, accompanied by a feeling of dissatisfaction, guilt or loss.

If we only have a career, we want to have reached its peak, if we only have children, we want those children to be perfect, just like our home, if we have both, we are torn between making both perfect.

And where are we alone? Where are you?

No, that question is absolutely wrong and has absolutely nothing to do with women!

But let's face it... How many times have you heard or read the term "Career and motherhood"? So many times that no one is counting anymore. It has become an issue and terminology that is constantly talked about, written about and listened to, and every now and then "tips and solutions" for that problem come out.

But every generation has the same problem again!

And yes, there is a reason for that. And no, it is not the accelerated pace of life. Nothing has accelerated. Time passes normally according to our numerical understanding.

The reason is balance. If we put a scale in front of us and pile up objects on one side, it will fall at that point because the opposite side is empty. So, if on one side of the scale is -Career and motherhood, what is missing on the other side?

Career and fatherhood.

And this is the moment when women imagine a little and breathe in and out...

If we exclude the situation in which the father is not there because he has passed away, then we are looking for a balance so that on the opposite side of the scale we have another adult living person. Otherwise, we are talking about a supernatural woman/man.

Career and Fatherhood

What nonsense am I writing about now? Why should a father even care about his children? Well, he has a wife! A mother! A sister! Let him choose...

This is exactly the historical problem to this day. First individuals, then groups, then the entire society that has completely neglected this aspect.

Both men and women are to blame for this.

A woman gives birth to a child, puts him in the foreground, distances the man from the obligations of caring for the child by occupying herself with everything or allowing the man those simple tasks but by no means the more serious ones such as schooling, homework, going to the doctor, getting dressed, etc. Women tend to pile too many obligations on themselves, and then complain that they have too many or get sick. They have no time for themselves and dissatisfaction is created that leads to other problems.

A man did not give birth to a child and believes that a woman is biologically superior to him. He automatically moves away in microscopic steps that he is not even aware of at first. A man does not address his wife that he also wants his full right to be with his child, but sacrifices/saves himself by going to work as if there is nothing new at home. He convinces himself and others that the money he earns is his contribution to the child. In this way, with the excuse that he is killed by work, he does not spend time with his child, but sweetly answers him: "Ask mom".

There is no career and motherhood, nor career and fatherhood in the sense that it is presented to the world. There is only an agreement.

Before the birth of a child, partners should sit down and make a detailed plan of how they will act in the next 20 years of their lives, and not let things happen by themselves without the partners communicating the whole thing. Because a child is not an object or a hobby, they are a living being. Just like their parents. And both parents deserve personal growth with their child without one shifting responsibilities onto the other. When it comes to that and one partner burdens the other to make it easier for themselves, we get terms like Career and Motherhood/Career and Fatherhood.

That's why the only correct term is Parenting and Career.

Therefore, whether you are a man or a woman and you don't have balance, it means you don't have a good agreement.

Then you are not in a fair partnership.

So sit down and talk calmly with your partner. Then you will know where you stand. The steps you will take are only up to you. Then you continue your life with these decisions.

PS. Feel free to let your partner read the blog too.😉